I've been trying to put my finger on the reason I haven't been putting my fingers to the keyboard. My last final was almost two weeks ago and the outpouring of writing that I assumed was sitting behind the wall of, "Once school is over…" has yet to appear. What's keeping me from seizing this newfound time and using it?
Part of it, undoubtedly, is the fact that I spent a lot of time writing this semester. There are two things you do a lot of in grad school, reading and writing. When I dotted the last I and crossed the last T on my final exam the last thing I wanted to do was dot more I's and cross more T's. I think that's a fair enough opinion to have after a pretty intense year of academia but I think I'm quickly closing in on the statute of limitations for that feeling. I've gotten away from Claremont, spent a week in a brand new place, and gave myself time to unwind. Hopefully, that means the ideas will start finding their ways back into my fingers and I can wiggle them into words that appear on your screen.
On a deeper level, I think I started to feel like an impostor when it came to my blog. What kind of writer let's his website (newly designed, too!) essentially lay dormant for weeks and weeks on end? Do I really think I can just sit down, tap out some sentences, and be back in the community? Intellectually, I know all it takes is to publish a new article and I'll be right back in the game. Emotionally, I feel like I need to craft something truly epic to make up for all the articles I've missed and time that has elapsed.
Lastly, I think I've been wrestling with what exactly I'm trying to do with this website. On a basic level, I know I want to use it as a platform to share positive psychology and personal development with a wide audience. My goal has always been to help as many people as I possibly can. However, the best way for me to go about doing this has always been an elusive beast. I know sitting on my butt and thinking about how to make my website and my business better doesn't actually do anything toward moving it in the right direction. I've mostly been sitting and thinking and now it's time to actually get doing again.
As I wrap up what has evidently turned into my "I'm back!" article, I'll see if I can translate this into something a little more general and possibly usable by you. In the past I've written about how figuring out what makes you feel good is a good starting point for improving your life. Instead of starting with ambiguous and ambitious "values" perhaps rooting your thoughts in concrete actions and activities will provide a more fruitful starting point. For me, I know when I'm writing regularly, even when it's difficult, I feel good. I feel best when I'm regularly putting my thoughts into writing and sharing it with my readers. I haven't been doing that for awhile now (for both good and bad reasons) but all of that can stop with a simple click of the "Publish" button. It's a simple step -- and now that I can look back on the several hundred words I just typed, I realize it was a pretty easy step as well.
It's good to be back. I have a lot of things planned, and I'm ready to take SamSpurlin.com healthily and boldly into the summer of 2012. As always, thanks for sticking around.